I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
FUCK WHALES
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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