i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
