this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
