well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Apparently you make a good broom.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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