In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
no more duck duck goose at the bar
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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