How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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