Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
