His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
