a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
