Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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