We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
