i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
