i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
