Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
