He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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