I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
