I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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