new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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