You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Come on in and take your pants off
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