Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
