So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
