At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
