This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Found the puke drawer
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize