feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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