just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
