if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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