so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
