My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
