my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
