Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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