We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
