love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
worst night to have a conscience
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
it's like heaven, but drunker
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
