Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
