Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
