idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize