all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
