Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
