i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
