Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize