This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
