Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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