Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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