I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
