better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
