end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
