i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
