Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize