the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
this is an emotional support booty call
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
