help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
