she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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