I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
