at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
