When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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