hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i drank out of a bidet.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
