the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
