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I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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