Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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