The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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