...so i touched it.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
